A Bit of Orange

To conclude this gay debate over gay marriage, I your Rent A Friend, am going to wrap up as any Rent A Friend should- with an overreaching analogy based on Star Wars. You’re Welcome.

A Long Time Ago, in a galaxy far, far away,
now on DVD and Blue Ray….

Young Anakin Skywalker had no father. He was raised by a single mother in a poor neighborhood. But he was different from other boys. He had feelings that were… different. One day he was taken from his mother by a man who won him in a bet.

You have to admit that’s unusual.

For many years he was raised in the Jedi temple. They taught him that his ‘dark’ feelings were wrong, and taught him to suppress them. They also taught him that a Jedi was not to have any romantic love, and that his desire for romance should similarly be shunned. For a long time he did, and all was well.

If you are in favor of extending legal rights and privileges to those members of society who are not accepted as the “norm,” then you will be delighted to hear about what Michigan and Texas have done for their citizens. In many states, those persons who are “blind” are denied many basic rights merely because of their vision-alternative lifestyles, such as the right to drive a car or fly a plane. But the good people running both Michigan and Texas have seen the error of their ways  and have made it legal for those without sight to drive in those states, provided they wear their seatbelts.

Ha ha! I am kidding of course. Neither of those states allows the blind to drive. When one considers the potential harm which might befall not only those persons exercising their legal rights, but also those who are in the car with them or in adjacent cars, you can see why they would not put such a ‘right’ into law. It’s also unlikely that many, if any blind persons would WANT to drive. No, Michigan and Texas know better. However, they have both given the blind the legal right to hunt with firearm or crossbow.

And this time, I am not kidding.

To modern minds “Good” simply means, “Lacking evil.” Evil is measured by the physical cost. Thus, smoking is evil because it results in cancer, drunk driving is evil because it results in deadly crashes and Vampires are evil because they result in the Twilight movies. If there’s no body count, we tend to say there’s no evil, and if no evil, then good. Getting drunk, therefore, is good, and drunk driving is bad.  I bring this up because almost all of the arguments for legalizing Gay marriage, or even simply accepting the lifestyle, are along these lines: “What business is it of yours?” “Why do you care?” “Who are they hurting?” 

In short, the argument seems, for many people, to go as follows:

1. I don’t know why you think it’s bad.
2. If I don’t know what would make it bad, then a suitable reason must not exist.
3. If it’s not bad, it MUST be good.
4.  If it is good, then those who oppose it are evil.
5. Thus, it is right to hate Christians and republicans. I’m going to burn down a Target and steal a 65 inch flat screen tv.

If you haven’t seen the Marx Brothers movie “A Night at the Opera,” then it’s possible that, until now, your life has been a hollow lie devoid of meaning, hope, or joy. I suggest you rush right out and buy a copy at once. Aside from lasting joy and cultural education, I bring this film to your attention because of a particular scene.  

Near the end of the film, Chico and Harpo slip the sheet music for “Take me out to the ballgame” into the score, and then slip themselves into the pit. As the opera starts, the orchestra breaks into “Take me out to the ballgame” and Chico and Harpo pull out a baseball and have a short game, during which Chico pitches and Harpo uses a violin to smack the ball into the woodwinds. It’s classic Marx Brothers shtick which I will now use for my own metaphysical purposes. But first, let’s go to the beach.