For the Love of Pigeon Poo

A lot of people tend to be very offended by people like me, because I compare different ideas and then judge some of them true and some false. A disproportionate number of these people tend to be female, and often somewhere between 13 and 30. I don’t know what that says, I just find it weird.

The kind of feedback I receive from these ladies is along these four lines of argumentation:

1. You are wrong.

2. You should shut up.

3. Why can’t you leave other people alone? If their belief makes them happy, then why can’t you just let them be happy?

4. You are wrong and should shut up.

Eventually you will discover that they feel like they are defending people they care about- friends and family who are (gay, atheist, evolutionists, democrats, Cubs fans, vegetarians, cat owners, etc etc etc.). And they feel that a person who is attacking (whatever belief or behavior) is attacking that person they love. Their conclusion is, the way to be loving is to leave people alone and let them be happy doing or believing whatever they want.

This sounds compassionate, right? Like a greeting card wrapped in barbed wire. However, as I shall explain, these ladies are completely bonkers. To prove that I shall replace (whatever) with a belief which you will feel I am making up, but I assure you I am not. Let’s pretend that someone you love and care about believes that their medical ailments can all be cured by consuming pigeon poop. I am not making this up.Image result for pigeon poop Continue reading

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Homosexuality is NOT the ONLY “Abomination”

If you’re like most people, you probably have never read the entire Bible. Or much of it at all. You might have read a few verses from your coworkers inspirational coffee cup, like that one about God lifting us up on wings like eagles’, or you may have heard about a verse that says women are supposed to be servants of their husbands from some feminist who can’t actually quote that verse from memory, but knows she hates it and by extension the church in general. One phrase you may have heard in past years, even if not the actual context, is the idea that in the Bible God calls Homosexuals an Abomination.Related image

That sounds kind of harsh, doesn’t it? I mean, homosexuals are PEOPLE, darn it! They reserve respect too! And I totally agree. Oh, but wait…

The Bible doesn’t say that Homosexuals are an Abomination.

Continue reading

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A Transgender Debate (Between two Steves)

I wound up getting to Danny’s Bar, Grill and House of Rabbelrousing early last Thursday, and as I was waiting for my friends to join me for a giant plate of life-giving Nachos, I overheard the following conversation from two persons at the bar. Steve, I gathered from his speech and “Make America Great Again” hat, was a Conservative Trump supporter, and Stephen (Now going by Stephanie) is, as he said, a transsexual “woman”. Whatever that means. Lucky for me, Steve was wondering the same thing.

Steve: Help me out here. What does it mean when you say you are a “Transsexual woman”?

Stephen: While I may have been born biologically male, I am a woman.

Steve: So you actually ARE a man. Right?

Stephen: I self identify as a woman.

Steve: That isn’t what I asked. I didn’t ask how you self identify, I asked what you ARE.

Stephen: My feelings determine what I am.

Steve: Then you were born feeling like a male and later changed how you feel?

Stephan: Uh.. no. I’ve never felt like I was male. I’ve always FELT like a girl.

Steve: Then why did you say you were born biologically male?

Stephen: Because I was BORN with… boy parts.

Steve: Are you saying you really HAD boy parts or that you were born FEELING like you had boy parts, but later found out you were wrong?

Stephen: I… I am biologically MALE, but I self identify as a female. I am a woman.

Steve: So even though you have the body of a man and were born with boy parts, you have decided you are a woman.  Do I have that right?

Stephen: I think you do.

Steve: But if you were born male, and biologically continue to be male, then what sense does it make to say you are a woman?

Stephen: I told you, I self identify as a woman. I FEEL like a woman, regardless of my biological body, and I want people to respect how I feel.

Steve: So your whole claim is that you FEEL like a woman?

Stephen: Yes, essentially.

Steve: No disrespect meant, but I don’t buy that for a second.

Stephen: What?

Steve: I don’t believe you do feel like a woman. I think you are pretending to feel like a woman to get attention, or tick off your dad or something. But there is no way I am buying the idea that you FEEL like a woman.

Stephen: I’m telling you, when I look in the mirror, I see a woman!

Steve: Unless you’re naked.

Stephen: That’s not… no, I mean, when I think of myself, I think of a woman.

Steve: And when I think of myself, I think of Batman. Hardly seems like the government should be forcing you to call me the Dark Night.

Stephen: Look, my self identify is based on MY FEELINGS, and not my body or anything else. I feel like a woman.

Steve: No you don’t.

Stephen: Yes I do!

Steve: Prove it.

Stephen: Prove it?

Steve: Yes, prove to me that you FEEL like a woman. What tangible evidence can you possible give that you really feel like a women and that you are not lying to me?

Stephen: Tangible evidence? I do really feel like a woman!

Steve: And I feel like Batman.  And as the hero that Gotham needs, but not the one that it wants, I am just going to call you out as a liar. I say you DON’T really feel like a woman. Prove me wrong.

Stephen: How am I supposed to do that?

Steve: Well, clearly not with a DNA test or a physical exam. Those two tests say you’re male. What do you have that says you’re female?

Stephen: It’s the truth, I swear to God!

Steve: SWEAR TO ME!

Stephen: I see what you did there.

Steve: Thank you.

Stephen: Look, I dress like a woman, and I ask people to call me Stephanie.

Steve: You ever watch Monty Python?

Stephen: Maybe a few times a long time ago…

Steve: Those guys dressed up as women all of the time. They’d talk in female voices, sort of, and call each other by female names.

Stephen: Yes, but they were just actors. They didn’t REALLY mean for people to view them as women.

Steve: How do you know?

Stephen: They took their dresses off!

Steve: You shower with your clothes on?

Stephen: Look, my self identity is based on how I feel, and that’s the end of it. I FEEL like a woman.

Steve: How do you know?

Stephen: Are you saying I don’t know how I feel?

Steve: No, I’m saying that, as someone born male with boy parts, how would you possibly even know what it feels like to be something you’ve never been? You may dress and act like a woman- or at least the idea you have of how a woman acts and dresses- and maybe you think of yourself as being female, but you’ve never actually BEEN female. I’ve never been Batman. I can dress in the costume, or imagine myself in the cape and cowl every time I think of myself, but that doesn’t mean I can KNOW what it feels like to be an orphaned billionaire who fights insane criminals at night dressed as a flying mammal.

Stephen: Batman is not a real person!

Steve: And as far as I’m concerned, neither is a woman with boy parts. My point is, however you feel, you can’t possibly know you FEEL like a woman unless you know what a woman feel like. And how can you know that when you’ve never been one?

Stephen sat in silence for a minute and sipped his drink thoughtfully. Steve turned his attention to the tv over the bar. Around this time, my friends started coming in and we went to our usual table, but I’d be interested to know if Stephen ever thought of an answer to that.

#JesusLovesYou

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Teaching Kids there is a Hell

A famous, As-Seen-On-TV atheist once said that teaching children that there is a hell is child abuse. Naturally this means that every Christian parent, pastor, or Sunday school teacher is an evil criminal who needs to be rounded up into concentration camps.

But not Muslims. They’re  a protected class right now.

Let’s consider the logic of his position. It makes a fair amount of sense that if you tell a child they will burn forever in the literal tormenting fires of hell, that they will not accept it as comforting news. They may (and I say this as a lay person who is not a child psychologist) dislike the idea rather strongly. In fact, it may frighten them almost as much as the seven foot tall Easter Bunny costume stuffed full of half baked community college liberal arts student which their parents force them to sit on to get their picture taken at the mall every spring.Image result for easter bunny mall photos crying Continue reading

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Why I Don’t Believe “Believe” Means what You Believe it Means

People all the times be saying, “Faith means believing in things which ain’t so.” Or sometimes, “Faith means believing things without, or sometimes in the teeth of evidence.”

And from these quotes, we can learn that some people, despite having been born and raised in the Christian West, have NO IDEA what the Bible says or what the church has taught for 2,000 years.

I personally think 2,000 years would be enough time for everyone to find the time to see what the Bible says before they go off writing books about it, but apparently I am being presumptuous. Thus to help you, my friends, I will show you what the Bible says:uncle sam copy Continue reading

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Is Luke Skywalker a Moral Monster?!?!?

Whenever dealing with deep theological and philosophical issues, all wise persons tend to let their minds wander toward Star Wars, especially the original trilogy, Episodes IV, V, and VI (that’s 4, 5 and 6 for those of you who don’t speak ancient Greek).

I  recently heard a question which comes up frequently when people are pondering the existence, character, and nature of God, which is “How do you reconcile the peace and love talk of Jesus with the war and genocide actions of God in the Old Testament?”

Sometimes people will just frame this question about the “slaughter of the Canaanites” which always makes me want to ask them, “Why are you so concerned with the killing of the Canaanites? Do you even KNOW any Canaanites? OF COURSE NOT! They’re all DEAD! For all you know they were the biggest jerks in the universe which YOU would have killed given half a chance!”

But it is a fair question. In the New Testament Jesus says “Love your neighbor” and in the Old Testament He apparently told the Israelites to kill all of the Canaanites. Seems like a sticky wicket doesn’t it?

Luke-Skywalker-monsterHmmm… I think Wicket was the name of that one Ewok in Return of the Jedi… Continue reading

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2 + 2 = 7 (Because sometimes what you DON’T know matters)

Anyone who knows any math will know that the single most certain truth on earth is that the Cubs will never win the pendant. Or this was true for 108 years…

Wait, no, I was going to say, the single most certain truth on earth is “2+2=4”. It is completely indisputable. Except when it’s wrong. I’m just going to come out and say it:

2 + 2 =7.

cake bath Continue reading

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