From henceforth, I am claiming the rainbow flag as my own. From this day forward, let it be known that the flying of the RAINBOW FLAG is done in honor of A BIT OF ORANGE- which every flag already contains. A bit of orange I mean. It’s between the red and yellow.

Although we should start making them with a MUCH wider Orange stripe, as it is the most important one. But, we’ll use what we have until then.

The RAINBOW flag shall NO LONGER be known as the “Pride flag” but instead shall be known both henceforth, but also retroactively as the BIT OF ORANGE FLAG (or, the “A Bit of Orange” flag. Both are permissible.) To save time, such as in a hashtag, you may refer to it as The BOOF. But not the BOOV, because those are the humorous world conquering alien creatures from the Dreamworks film HOME.

Anyone who claims that anyone has displayed a BIT OF ORANGE FLAG for any purpose other than to honor me and my wisdom/webpage/wit/etc. shall be mocked as an ignorant liar and told to do some form of internet penance, like eating Tide Pods or something. We’ll workshop it and get back to you.

Some of you are confused, so let me address the obvious questions.

Q & A time!

Q: What gives you the right to declare the meaning of something which is already being used as an established symbol?

Answer: I’m on the internet.

If you’ve been on the internet, you have seen how it works. Something which used to mean one thing- like the “OK” hand gesture, or the phrase “colored people” or bananas. All three are now (we are told by the internet) unforgivable symbols of racist hate. Now the “OK” hand gesture (or to our friends in the deaf community, the number 9) means “White Power.” And it always has now. Why? Because someone on the internet said so and CNN took their word as an ABSOLUTE authority. That is the power of the internet and I an wielding that power with an iron fist.

Also, while “colored people” is vile and racist and hateful, you are REQUIRED to use the term “people or color,” because that is COMPLETELY different. People didn’t know that back in the age of the Boomers, but we know now that they SHOULD have.

Q: So are you saying A Bit of Orange is a gay/trans/etc pride supporting ally?

Answer: No, I am saying the LGBTQ (etc) community has been promoting their love and honor for me and this website at all of their parades, bars, clubs, and socio-political events. And as soon as I trade mark it, they will owe me a TON of money.

And of course I appreciate their love and support.

Q: What if people continue to use the rainbow flag as a symbol of LGBTQ (etc) Pride?

Answer: That would be horribly hateful and intolerant and I would encourage Elon Musk to cancel their Twitter accounts even though he most likely will not. Once somebody on the internet says something means something, then it does. That’s it. There’s no vote. Everyone just has to let everyone else know so they don’t do anything hateful and intolerant, like using MY RAINBOW FLAG to mean something vile, sinful and perverse. Because I will make fun of people if I have to. I’ll type all KINDS of mean yet undeniably funny things if it comes to that.

It doesn’t matter what THEY think they’re using it for. It MEANS an allegiance to the greatness of me and my web site. To say anything else would be… well, not OK.