Under the article, The Dangers of Transgenderism a woman named Judy left me the following comment:
Very interesting. Be more interesting if you got your facts straight. No one ‘decides’ to change genders. A fully functional man–or woman–does not suddenly one day ‘decide’ to become the opposite sex and viola, there they are. Most if not all of them feel otherly challenged even as children, and depending on their family ‘standards’ they either shut up about it or tell someone, i.e., “mamma, I don’t feel like a girl. I feel like a boy’. It’s got nothing to do with wanting to wear blue or pink, or playing with ‘girl toys’ or ‘boy toys” but an internal feeling that must be agonizing for them and for everyone around them.
I think you’ve confused cross dressing with gender issues. Not the same thing at all.
I suspect you are also of the persuasion that a gay can be ‘converted’ to straight, if they just try harder.
And so I replied:
Hey Judy, thanks for stopping by.
I didn’t intend to say that people decide to change genders. I intended to say that no one CAN change genders. And they don’t. They declare themselves to be something they know they are not. What I said was, “Transgenderism is when a man decides he is a woman, or when a woman decides she is a man.” Those men are still men, and you acknowledge that by calling them “Transgender”- otherwise you would merely call them “Women.”
They don’t (and cannot) decide to change their gender. They can only decide to think of themselves or to insist others think of them as the opposite gender.
And while I’m sure cross dressing is a very related lifestyle choice, I know these are not synonymous. For instance, you say “It’s got nothing to do with wanting to wear blue or pink, or playing with ‘girl toys’ or ‘boy toys.” And I get that. My wife’s favorite color is blue, and my daughter loves the Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles. Both of them own and wear pants. I never claimed that there are toys God only intended BOYS to play with. Gender is innate and biological and even spiritual, but toys and colors and clothes don’t determine any of those things.
You describe transgenderism as “an internal feeling that must be agonizing for them and for everyone around them.” and no doubt this is true. People with this problem commit suicide at STAGGERING rates. Our cultural embracing of their identity confusion or even the surgery to complete the façade doesn’t seem to help. Being unable to reconcile what you are with how you feel is hard for anyone. But telling people the lies they are struggling with does not help them. When a boy says, “I don’t feel like a boy,” and your answer is, “You aren’t a boy, you are a girl.” that must be devastating for them.
Imagine telling an anorexic girl, starving herself because she sees herself as fat, “Yes, you are a chubby fat girl.” Yes it supports her self-identity, but it also kills her.
That’s what it does to the soul of a man who is told he is not a man, or a boy who is told he will never be a man, or a girl who is told that she can never have what it takes to be a woman because she is male. Devastating. What you imagine is affirmation is actually bringing death.
What brings healing is a healthy acceptance of the truth- that God made us male and female and each of those distinctions in His image are valuable and special. But pretending that boys are girls doesn’t bring healing. It kills people. Lies always bring death.
But of course, none of this was the point of the article you are replying under. I wonder if you might need to read it again so you can reply to what I actually said here?
As for gay to strait conversion, I would be neutral about it if I hadn’t heard so many people tell their stories of being “delivered” from their prior homosexual lifestyles (I say “Delivered” because that is the word I have heard many of them use when talking about it). I know you may think homosexual is a species, like “Panda” or “Giraffe.” But it is not. And just like telling boys they are not male, telling homosexuals that THAT is their species, and to even think about changing betrays their TRUE SELF is a vile form of hatred which literally kills people.
I certainly do not say the difference between gay and strait is merely trying harder, anymore than the difference between being fat and thin is merely trying harder, but on the most important level, even an addict makes choices. God tells us to choose the way of life and not the way of death. For some he gives an easy path, for others he gives sufficient grace. But we all must choose. Right and wrong are not determined by how easy it is to choose. The designer built purpose into the design, and when we betray that design we are not free- we bring death.
Thanks for your comments.
Read more about the Gender Identity and Sexuality debates in our free book, which you can read online or download for free here:
Preachers, Perverts & Pandas
A Gay Debate! Transgenderism! Other Stuff! PG-13!
In what is sure to be the reason I get kicked off of social media, I explain the debate over gay marriage, and why letting Pandas eat giraffes isn’t the loving thing to do. I explain how the American church has swung the reaction pendulum to both extremes of the LGBTQ debate. I explain how the Transgender movement has failed so badly that I am Transgender (according to Google anyway). And we take a lengthy dive into the many ways a “LGBTQ affirming” church tries to use the Bible to teach things the Bible clearly does not teach. It’s a great lesson on how to start a cult. But the whole point is, whatever our sins, Jesus loves us. That’s the good news the Bible has for all of us, even when we’ve taken a few bites out of the giraffes.