Cross Dressing, Gender and Being Delivered

Under the article, The Dangers of Transgenderism a woman named Judy left me the following comment:

Very interesting. Be more interesting if you got your facts straight. No one ‘decides’ to change genders. A fully functional man–or woman–does not suddenly one day ‘decide’ to become the opposite sex and viola, there they are. Most if not all of them feel otherly challenged even as children, and depending on their family ‘standards’ they either shut up about it or tell someone, i.e., “mamma, I don’t feel like a girl. I feel like a boy’. It’s got nothing to do with wanting to wear blue or pink, or playing with ‘girl toys’ or ‘boy toys” but an internal feeling that must be agonizing for them and for everyone around them.

I think you’ve confused cross dressing with gender issues. Not the same thing at all.

I suspect you are also of the persuasion that a gay can be ‘converted’ to straight, if they just try harder.

Photo by Lisett Kruusimu00e4e on

And so I replied:

Hey Judy, thanks for stopping by.

I didn’t intend to say that people decide to change genders. I intended to say that no one CAN change genders. And they don’t. They declare themselves to be something they know they are not. What I said was, “Transgenderism is when a man decides he is a woman, or when a woman decides she is a man.” Those men are still men, and you acknowledge that by calling them “Transgender”- otherwise you would merely call them “Women.”

They don’t (and cannot) decide to change their gender. They can only decide to think of themselves or to insist others think of them as the opposite gender.

And while I’m sure cross dressing is a very related lifestyle choice, I know these are not synonymous. For instance, you say “It’s got nothing to do with wanting to wear blue or pink, or playing with ‘girl toys’ or ‘boy toys.” And I get that. My wife’s favorite color is blue, and my daughter loves the Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles. Both of them own and wear pants. I never claimed that there are toys God only intended BOYS to play with. Gender is innate and biological and even spiritual, but toys and colors and clothes don’t determine any of those things.

You describe transgenderism as “an internal feeling that must be agonizing for them and for everyone around them.” and no doubt this is true. People with this problem commit suicide at STAGGERING rates. Our cultural embracing of their identity confusion or even the surgery to complete the façade doesn’t seem to help. Being unable to reconcile what you are with how you feel is hard for anyone. But telling people the lies they are struggling with does not help them. When a boy says, “I don’t feel like a boy,” and your answer is, “You aren’t a boy, you are a girl.” that must be devastating for them.

Imagine telling an anorexic girl, starving herself because she sees herself as fat, “Yes, you are a chubby fat girl.” Yes it supports her self-identity, but it also kills her.

That’s what it does to the soul of a man who is told he is not a man, or a boy who is told he will never be a man, or a girl who is told that she can never have what it takes to be a woman because she is male. Devastating. What you imagine is affirmation is actually bringing death.

What brings healing is a healthy acceptance of the truth- that God made us male and female and each of those distinctions in His image are valuable and special. But pretending that boys are girls doesn’t bring healing. It kills people. Lies always bring death.

But of course, none of this was the point of the article you are replying under. I wonder if you might need to read it again so you can reply to what I actually said here?

As for gay to strait conversion, I would be neutral about it if I hadn’t heard so many people tell their stories of being “delivered” from their prior homosexual lifestyles (I say “Delivered” because that is the word I have heard many of them use when talking about it). I know you may think homosexual is a species, like “Panda” or “Giraffe.” But it is not. And just like telling boys they are not male, telling homosexuals that THAT is their species, and to even think about changing betrays their TRUE SELF is a vile form of hatred which literally kills people.

I certainly do not say the difference between gay and strait is merely trying harder, anymore than the difference between being fat and thin is merely trying harder, but on the most important level, even an addict makes choices. God tells us to choose the way of life and not the way of death. For some he gives an easy path, for others he gives sufficient grace. But we all must choose. Right and wrong are not determined by how easy it is to choose. The designer built purpose into the design, and when we betray that design we are not free- we bring death.

Thanks for your comments.

Read more about the Gender Identity and Sexuality debates in our free book, which you can read online or download for free here:

Preachers, Perverts & Pandas

A Gay Debate! Transgenderism! Other Stuff! PG-13!

In what is sure to be the reason I get kicked off of social media, I explain the debate over gay marriage, and why letting Pandas eat giraffes isn’t the loving thing to do. I explain how the American church has swung the reaction pendulum to both extremes of the LGBTQ debate. I explain how the Transgender movement has failed so badly that I am Transgender (according to Google anyway). And we take a lengthy dive into the many ways a “LGBTQ affirming” church tries to use the Bible to teach things the Bible clearly does not teach. It’s a great lesson on how to start a cult. But the whole point is, whatever our sins, Jesus loves us. That’s the good news the Bible has for all of us, even when we’ve taken a few bites out of the giraffes.

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4 Responses to Cross Dressing, Gender and Being Delivered

  1. wojtek says:

    Hope you’re having a good day today.



  2. jsneese62 says:

    I do like the answers you gave her. I like the fact that you pointed out that colors and toys are not gender specific. I was a “tomboy” growing up I climbed trees, played in the mud, caught snakes, tadpoles, and mud puppies. I played with cars, dump trucks, and toy soldiers and never once was there an ounce of doubt I was a girl. Having said this I know for some there is an internal struggle and I grew up with one such boy his name was Marc. My mom told me for years he was going to grow up to be gay as a child I thought happy? Well that is good cause as a child he was not. He was a good boy, but other boys picked on him a lot so he played with us girls more often than not. Looking back I wish someone had helped him I wish it with all my heart. His life ended before he was even 40 years old tragically in murder. Very few people mourned his death, but I mourned my sweet friend that I was too young to help.
    Everything you said to her was the absolute truth because if someone had told Marc as a child you are a boy and affirmed to him he was okay he might still be here today. Instead in the ’60s his mother and grandmother both just ignored it I am sure in hopes he would just grow out of it and he didn’t. Instead the wrong kinds of men got a hold of him that lead him down that path to death.


    • Good day jsneese62,
      My daughter has dressed as a Disney princess and a Teen Age Mutant ninja Turtle. I never worried about her, because under the costume she always knew she was a girl. Somewhere there are pictures of me in a wedding dress. I spent a lot of my younger days befriending girls because I didn’t do sports and other boy things, and I haven’t changed much. But I know I’m a man even though I rarely FEEL like one. But I know I have no idea what it feels like to be a woman any more than I know what it feels like to be a duck.

      When I got married there was a book series from John Eldridge which started with WILD AT HEART. It was life changing and helped to answer a lot of questions I had been asking. Some churches still hold onto what that taught us- a man’s soul needs to know he is a man, just as a woman’s soul needs to know she is a woman, because in that is the image of God we were made to be. Now even churches are stripping that away in the name of compassion. It’s devastating.

      My grandmother spent her childhood playing baseball and catching snakes. She was strong and confident and became the mother of five children who never doubted she was a woman. It would never have occurred to her. She wore pants when it wasn’t popular, but she wore women’s pants. She didn’t shy away from a fight and she knew how to make great cookies. America made better women back when we knew what a woman was. Now we’re making women out of failed boys and refusing to talk about what it means to be a woman.

      At the end, God has told us what we are, and he knows because he made us. How we feel about it doesn’t change any of that, but if you’re pretending He isn’t there, then we came from nothing, we are nothing, and we’re going to nothing. That’s why the gospel is not merely about what happens after we die. It makes all the difference in the world.
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, as always, and remember, Jesus Loves you

      Liked by 1 person

  3. jsneese62 says:

    To me clothes are nothing more than a covering for the body and I look to people like those that where robes and kilts. I know the Scottish would read me the riot act for saying this, but a kilt is a skirt for men. Growing up my daughter was much like me climbing trees, catching small critters, baiting her own hook, and chasing boys with worms. There was never a doubt she was a girl from me or her. She enjoyed dressing up as she got older, but also still enjoyed jeans and shorts. I use to buy all of my ex-husbands dress clothes and very often he had a long sleeved and short sleeved pale pink dress shirts because his skin tone favored that color and he looked good in it. I hate the fact that somewhere in the past someone decided only one gender could wear pink and the other blue. God never assigned gender colors.
    I do not know what it is like to not know what it feels like to be a woman, but I can imagine it is difficult for you to not know what it feels like to be a man. I am glad you do understand that you are a man. Although as I said I do not understand how you feel if I was to encourage you I would say the sum of who you are your personality and who and how you are is the kind of man you are and that is the you God made. I was a child that was always wild at heart and my mother in one of her more lucid moments that I walked to the beat of my own drum and to never allow anyone to stop me from doing that. The beat has changed over time, but is still my own and I think you are the same in that sense.
    As for what is a woman I think those that are biological women I think it means some different things to each, but biologically it is the same for all of us and that is what is they are trying to make a mystery and trying to confuse and yes the church is doing a lot of harm to women. All of these trans pastors in my opinion hate biological women I know the trans men do for all of them saying they don’t. We are what they think they want, but can never have and they know it.
    I agree we made better woman in the past strong women that did what needed to be done and did it with grace and without complaint. There was much comfort from my grandma who was tiny, but strict and would whoop my bottom if I did wrong, but love and comfort me a few minutes later and she made great cookies too. She raised up four three daughters through the Depression my mother was born in 1932.
    I agree God has told us what we are not only in His Word, but also in the code of our DNA and that cannot be changed it is a written code. Those that outwardly deny God I often think they know on some level that He is real, but like the Pharisees did not want to admit Jesus was the Messiah because they didn’t want to change their ways. As with people today I don’t know how they thought that was going to turn out for them, but one thing is for sure they do now.
    God Bless my friend.


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