Tag Archives: theology

I See a Black Door and I Want It Painted Red

Calvinists like to use the raising of Lazarus as a metaphor for what salvation is like. Our boy Lazarus is dead, and lying in his grave for a handful of days. He clearly is not going anywhere on his own. … Continue reading

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Fixing the Prodigal Son for Calvin

I have taken it upon myself to fix this parable, and I now present it to you in the way Jesus WOULD have originally told it, so that it teaches the truth of Calvinism. Continue reading

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John Calvin Clause is Coming to TOOOOOWN!

Only the kids on the Nice list get presents. The kids on the Naughty List get stuffed into a burlap sack and beaten with reeds. Santa’s not messing around. Those naughty kids are getting what they deserve. Continue reading

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I Don’t Understand Calvinism (Yes I do)

Calvinist Vs Calvinist! Each presenting the position they were determined to hold and praying that God determines the other to change his mind because we don’t have the free will to be persuaded and choose to believe! Continue reading

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