I wrote the article Fart In a Car (An Honest Critique of Atheist Communication Skills) about the perplexingly many atheists which have forced me to ignore their questions so I can teach them how to make an argument or simply not be a total jerk. These people show up here, at my blog, and leave short comments about my perceived character flaws and are gone like a fart in a car (and every bit as enjoyable). You’ve seen them in a lot of my Feedback Fridays. They leave a sentence fragment about how stupid or bigoted or stupid I am, but never with enough content to tell me WHAT they think I’m wrong/lying about (they LOVE to call me a liar) or why my position is wrong. They don’t make a case or try to teach me anything, and they certainly won’t involve evidence or facts that can be used to support their position because, well, YOU have a character flaw. That’s sort of like an argument, right?

So Clubby is a crazy cat lady who fits this mold to a tee, and I have asked her (like I ask all of the others) WHY do you come here and leave these comments? Here’s what I said to her after a collection of her latest, pointless hit and run style fart in my car comments:

I’m not trying to be insulting, Clubby. I’m doing you the favor of being optimistic enough to think it possible that you can justify why you come here to leave dumb comments. For example, I don’t think you’re stupid enough to think you have made any points to address. You know better. I mean you said “always lovely to see a Christian lie so hilariously.”

Did you say WHAT I lied about? No.

Did you explain WHY something I said was inaccurate, let alone intentionally so? NO.

But you got the “hilarious” part right, so you squeaked by with a passing grade.

I want you to explain to me why you do it. WHY do you bother? Why come here and say something stupid that communicates NOTHING except your own hostility and ignorance? you make NO POINT. you offer NO ARGUMENT. You only, in this case, show up to BE THE THING I’m writing about. YOU are the fart in the car, Clubby.

Do you not have any hobbies? Can’t you find a bowling alley? Do you not own golf clubs? Does your laptop not come with solitaire?

Just explain to me why you think it’s worth it to show up here and leave a comment which can do nothing but make you look like an idiot. I really want to know why you do it, because I cannot begin to guess as to why you and other people come here to fart in my car. I await your thoughtful explanation with eager anticipation.

A Bit of Orange (edited for brevity)

Being apparently incapable of understanding the question I wanted her to answer (i.e. Why fart in my car instead of doing something else) she apparently thought I wanted her to critique the article she was commenting under, and so she left BY FAR the longest comment she has ever left me, which sadly/humorously was only because she failed to understand the question. But instead of letting it go to waste, I thought I could use her to demonstrate the fart in the car.

CLUBBY STRIKES BACK!

Below is her entire comment, unedited except for my added comments, and I’ll put my notes in BOLD.

CLUBY WROTE: “And here we go again with Orange trying to lie (SEE? they LOVE to call me a liar! LOVE IT!) and claim he isn’t trying to be insulting. I do wonder, orange, do you think your god is stupid enough to believe that lie you are tell it too (assuming it exists)? You are trying to be insulting and failing as usual. You are doing no one any favors.

(Your guess here is as good as mine. Atheists LOVE to also insult God to get a rise out of Christians, but between her poor sentence structure and misspellings, I’m not even sure what she was trying to accuse me of. But she ASSURES us in the self-description she wrote on her blog “I am smart.” so clearly the problem is on my end.)

She Continues: “I do love that all you have are hilarious whines.

(She likes the word “Hilarious” because she thinks it communicates a vague superiority on her part, as though because she uses that word that she is in a position to look down and laugh at you. Personally, I just appreciate the fact that she acknowledges my brilliant wit. You should all follow her example in this, if nothing else.)

She Continues: “Evidently, you aren’t able to figure out that someone who comments is saying that what they are commenting *on* is a lie. (They SO love it!) *Everything* you said in your claims that atheists somehow can’t communicate is a lie (So much). You can’t show that any of your claims are true. You have no evidence, just false claims (with all their little hearts) made to vilify atheists since you cannot show one instance of your accusations being accurate. Is this simply enough put for you, dear?

Apparently she doesn’t feel the NEED to mention what I am lying about because EVERYTHING I said is a lie. If you actually read the article she is replying to, this ought to strike you as odd, because much of what I say is either opinion or advice, and the rare specificity is to one particular atheist about his comments, all of which are still on this website so you can go read it and see if my depiction is accurate.

Keep in mind that she has not merely said that everything in my article is WRONG. She has said EVERYTHING IS A LIE. This means she believes that what I said is false, and I KNOW IT TO BE FALSE, and have presented falsehoods intentionally. Remember what I said about character flaws? Atheists LOVE to call you a liar! LOVE IT!

Let’s look at some more of the LIES I actually present in this article full of lies:

–Stop being rude.
–Read your comments and think about how you would receive them from someone else. Your personal attacks are no more persuasive than a fart in a car, and no more welcome.
-If you make a statement of fact, then you already have the burden of proof. MAKE A CASE.
–An argument is determined by the evidence and reason.
-If you have a counter claim, have the courage to come out and make it WITH SUPPORT for your case. If you are ignorant, ask questions and don’t be rude about it. Just ask questions. 

The Torrent of Lies from A Bit of Orange

As the first line in the article says, “This was written to one, but it applies to MANY.” The conversation this was taken from is still on the blog here, and so you can go read the exchanges if you want. Everything I say about the other side of this conversation is true, and if she wants to call it a lie, she can just copy and paste the things said by the other person which show my account is false. But instead, she has decided to label THE ENTIRE article as a Christian lying so hilariously.

Anyway, she continues:

now, to amuse myself, I’ll go into far more detail:

“1. Stop being rude. ”

“Aka “please please don’t show I’m wrong”. Christians try to claim people who show them wrong are “rude”, trying so very hard to hide behind issues of politeness when they can’t defend their baseless claims. This is an attempt to pretend that they are a martyr.

Do I even need to explain this one? I feel like, if you’re capable, you already get it. I mean, her entire comment about this article was “always lovely to see a Christian lie so hilariously. I do enjoy seeing you have no more concern for you god than I do.” That was her ENTIRE REBUTTAL to this article in the first place. And then she later accused me of being incapable of answering the points she made.

She called me a liar and something about me having no concern for God? Not sure what that means but I suspect is was not complimentary. Do you see a point that needed answering? An argument that needed addressing? But when I told her that she had made no point or argument, she answered about me in the third person, saying, “and unsurprisingly, orange can’t address my points, so he must lie and try ever so hard to be insulting. happily, my points don’t cease to exist even if orange can’t address them.” This was her entire comment. The mind does reel. Yet it provides a WONDERFUL segue into my next point from the article- She Continues:

“2. MAKE A CASE.”

“Atheists makes cases, but the theist must falsely (LIAR!!!) claim they do not, in order to pretend that they do not have to present evidence for their baseless claims. This is simply an attempt to keep the theist’s willful ignorance intact.

Yup. And this is the same defense of Atheism I have seen a thousand times. The atheist CLAIMS that ATHEISTS do make reasoned defenses for their position. They claim that there ARE arguments for atheism (or against Christianity). OH BOY! (they assure me) THOSE ARGUMENTS SO TOTALLY REALLY EXIST! They Really REALLY exist you BETTER BELIEVE IT!

And I’m still waiting for one of those atheists to actually share one of them with me. I guess they just wanted me to have faith in the unseen, to BELIEVE without seeing in these alleged arguments, but as a Christian I rather need a more reasoned evidential support to a claim before I will accept it. We Christians are awfully scientific that way. We kind of invented the sciences, but I digress.

She Continues: “3. Remember that the validity of an argument is NOT determined by the messenger or medium. ”

“The validity of the argument is based on the evidence presented, and the theist has none. I do love the lie (LIAR LIAR! PANTS ON FIIIIIIIRE!!!!) that somehow atheists only come to conclusions because they don’t like the baseless claim made by the theist. This is a common lie (It’s like a compulsion, or addiction, isn’t it?) by a theist, insisting that atheists only have “feelings” about things, not evidence and reason to counter the lies (Are you keeping count? Me neither) of the theist.

In just a second, I will present Point #4, Ask more questions- as opposed to making these ridiculous, unsubstantiated claims. She does us the favor of presenting an example, saying “the theist has none.” TA DA!

So, that’s what “unsubstantiated claim” means, or sometimes I call it an “unsubstantiated blanket assertion. You just STATE A FACT and release it into the night sky like a flock of doves, with no explanation.

While she does assure us on her blog, “I am smart,” -and who am I to argue with her self description? -I see this astounding lack of reason, handwaving away 2000 years of Christian apologetics with “the theist has none” and I have to ask myself- does she know ANYTHING about ANY OF THIS? Because, evidence is scant. But since she apparently is entirely unaware of the evidence for the Christian worldview, I suppose it unsurprising that she offers no argument against it. I have many times said that the atheist’s own ignorance is NOT an argument against Christianity, but… could I have been wrong? I mean, she DOES use the word “none.” That sounds PRETTY CONFIDENT. She Continues:

“4. Ask more questions- as opposed to making these ridiculous, unsubstantiated claims. ”

This is the theist desperate hope that the atheist has no evidence and that the atheist can’t know that the theist is wrong.

OOH OOOOHHH!!! She’s about to present some of the TOTALLY REAL EVIDENCE that TOTALLY proved atheism is TRUE! We’re about to see LOGICAL ARGUMENTS FOR ATHEISM!!!! GET READY TO TAKE NOTES!

She Continues: There is no need to ask questions, when the theist’s claim is simply a lie.

Man, they LOVE accusing Christians of being liars. But… That doesn’t prove atheism is true…. Uh, OK, hold on, It’s coming! Get READY! ARGUMENTS AND EVIDENCE! Here it is:

She Continues: No one needs to ask questions to give the poor theist the illusion that his nonsense has some validity.

Wait, is she stating a REFUSAL to ask questions? Like, she’s ADMITTING to STAYING IGNORANT out of some desire NOT to accidentally validate the the Christian worldview by… learning what it is?

Ok, but… She IS going to present arguments, other than calling me a liar I mean. SO TOTALLY coming. Here it is! Argument! Evidence! ANY second now! ARGUMENTS…

She Continues: Poor orange tries to hope that atheists are ignorant about his claims which they are not. Then he tries so very hard to invoke feelings to convince the atheist that they might look foolish if they counter him. Happily, we don’t look foolish and orange is only appealing to fear and ignorance, like Christianity always does.

…or, personal attacks. Which is, I mean, SORT OF like a reasoned argument based on evidence (except for being the literal opposite). So…

Nevermind. Let’s just see what else she has to say. She Continues:

5. Or just stop leaving comments on other people’s blogs.

again, this is just “please please please don’t show us to be wrong”.

I can’t even. You guys… stay strong. We’re almost done.

She Continues: I guess poor orange can’t comprehend English when he doesn’t want to.

There’s some more of her “reasoned arguments based on evidence”!

She Continues: Again, I’ve told him why I post rebuttals of his lies, (She has not) even though I know he is a coward (that’s true, I am) and will try to lie (See? They Love it.) about them or not let them show publically at all. I do it to let him know that someone in the universe knows he is a liar (THEY. LOVE. IT!). I will add to that if I know he’s a liar (LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!), his god knows too, if it exists. I’m quite happy to be the gadfly (Ew.) . It’s quite easy to block posts. If he has no idea how, I can help him. (Aw… that’s sweet! I think we’re becoming friends!) Alas, there is no fart, there is no car, and orange fails with his choice to lie about others (LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT! SOOOO MUCH!!!!), ignoring his own god. My posts don’t make me look like an idiot at all (HA HA! No! NOT AT ALL! Remember she told us “I am smart,” and who are we to disagree?). That false claim (LIIIIIAAAARRR!!!!) is just the whine of a Christian who can’t counter my points. (Again, WHAT POINTS? Someone PLEASE tell me because I am apparently too stupid and cowardly to figure this out) Poor orange can’t make any points, can’t make any arguments, he just has attempts at being insulting. How curious that he *does* what he accuses me of.

now, I do wonder if dear orange will allow this post to show since it is not flattering to his motivations at all.

Hmmm…. She has made me look pretty stupid. Should I hide this comment and protect myself from her scathing indictment of my illogical dishonesty and lying and liar liar pants on firehoodness?

Nah. She has gone to the effort of making me look the fool, and to expose me as a liar, and need I remind you that she is smart, and her posts DO NOT make her look like an idiot AT ALL? It’s every bit as true as the arguments for atheism which no doubt by now you have seen for yourself.

I will fall on my sword as a gentleman and leave her entire comment here for all to see.

BONUS: How Many Times Did She Call Me a Liar in this ONE Comment?

1. And here we go again with Orange trying to lie

2. lie you are tell

3. what they are commenting *on* is a lie.

4. *Everything* you said … is a lie.

5. You have no evidence, just false claims

6. the theist must falsely claim

7. I do love the lie

8. This is a common lie

9. to counter the lies of the theist.

10. the theist’s claim is simply a lie.

11. I’ve told him why I post rebuttals of his lies,

12. he is a coward and will try to lie

13. someone in the universe knows he is a liar.

14. know he’s a liar,

15. orange fails with his choice to lie about others,

16. That false claim

I think there’s one thing I said that even Clubby can’t claim is a lie. Atheists LOVE to call Christians liars. They love it with all their little hearts. Maybe someday she’ll explain to me WHY this is so much fun for her? Maybe she’ll answer and explain… well, anything. A boy can hope.