Disney/Pixar: We’re making the lead character of Soul a black man voiced by a black man!

Twitter: Hooray! Diversity!

Disney/Pixar: …and then he falls into an open sewer and dies nine minutes later, only to have a white woman take over his body and make every part of his life better even though she’s never lived a single day.

Twitter: Uh, hooray.

Disney/MCU: We’re giving black character The Falcon a BIG role in a series with The Winter Soldier!

Twitter: Hooray! Diversity!

Disney/MCU: … And even though he helped save the world and he can fly a three billion dollar falcon suit, he doesn’t earn enough to help his single mom sister get a small loan to buy an old fishing boat. And he’ll be harassed by the cops. And he’ll sympathize with murderous terrorists.

Twitter: Uh, yeah, Hooray again.

Disney: We’re making Pinocchio’s Blue Fairy a bald black woman!

Twitter: Hooray! Diversity!

Disney: …and then we’re cutting almost all of her part from the movie. She brings him to life and we never see her again.

Twitter: But… how does he become a real boy at the end if she doesn’t…?

Disney: Oh, he might not. We don’t know. Shut up.

Twitter: OK, but…

Disney: In Obi Wan Kenobi we’re finally introducing the first black Star Wars character/actor for the first time if you ignore Lando, Mace Windu, Fin, Saul Guerra, Darth Vader, Maz Kanata, Oola, Pammich Nerro Goode, Jannah, Jar Jar, and probably a few others.

Twitter: Hooray! Diversity!

Disney: But she’s going to be poorly written, basically evil and incompetent, and we won’t bother with an interesting backstory or directing her to give a good performance.

Twitter: But, why wouldn’t you…

Disney: And finally, we’re making Ariel, the Little Mermaid, black!

Twitter: Why?

Disney: Because people will hate it.

Twitter: Is Terry Crews really playing her father, King Triton?

Disney: No, her father will be a white actor.

Twitter: It might still be good… Since you care about making the cast diverse, is Queen Latifa coming back to be Ursula? She’s already done outstanding live performances as Ursula!

Disney: Melissa McCarthy is Ursula.

Twitter: OH COME ON!