You’ll Like the Matrix if you Know What’s Good For You

By now we’ve all seen it. The trailer was hype, and it was watched millions of times in the first 24 hours. A NEW MATRIX FILM! Larry Wachowski (Calling himself “Lana” now, because of his amazing new wig of unnatural colors) was writing/directing this new movie and the world could not be more excited to see it. Not only were we going back to the Matrix, but with a Keanu Reeves who had been trained in guns and kung fu for not one, but THREE successful John Wick movies. The man is a combat legend now. This could be the GREATEST MATRIX MOVIE OF THEM ALL!!!

And then… we saw it.

STOP! Don’t waste 2 hours on this movie!

OK, I’ll just say what everyone is already thinking. Matrix 4 a hideous dumper fire that makes us long for the days of Adam Sandler films. It’s the Star Wars Holiday Special of the Matrix Universe. It’s like tween fan fic writers who hated the first movie were forced to watch it six times a day and then write about how they felt. It was an amazing master class on how NOT to make a movie.

And when I say, “What everyone is already thinking,” I mean even the people who wrote positive reviews. I’ve never seen anything like it, and it’s why I’m writing this for you now. You need to know. Everyone knows that the Matrix 4 was hot garbage, but they will insist you will say you like it if you know what’s good for you. The reason why is a little vague, but I think it will be made clear by the readers in the comments section who are already accusing me of violence because I referred to Larry by his name (Larry) and not by his cosplay name (Lana).

Making the Least Matrix Film Ever

See, the Matrix trilogy was written and directed by a team of brothers, Larry and Andy. Somehow they are now the “Wachowski sisters,” Lana and Lilly, and they look like a Monty Python Skit trying to be trendy. If I may be a bit catty, Larry isn’t even trying very hard. When I first saw him as “Lana” I thought (and I am not making this up) he was Bill Hader playing a character on Saturday Night Live.

Larry with a Crayola Wig, and Larry without.

Since becoming “girls” they have written and directed several movies, each worse than the one before, until at long last they returned to the Matrix and even Lilly (Andy) had to look at this mess and say, “Nah. I’m out.”

Andy looks into the future and says, “Dear Lord, what have I done?”

So Larry had to do this one himself. But that means that this is the first Matrix movie written and directed by a “woman”(Larry)! And a Transgender woman (Larry in a wig!)! Which means you BETTER like the movie and say nice things about it if you know what is good for you or WE WILL GET ON TWITTER AND CANCEL YOU SOOOO HARD!

I suspect this is why any reviews were positive at all. I also suspect drugs were a factor, and not the legal kind prescribed by a physician.

I have seen reviews which said essentially, “Yes, this movie is worse than any previous Matrix film in every way. The music is dull, the action is weak, the plot is stupid, and the characters are lifeless. But, Lana MEANT it to be like that! Isn’t she AMAZING!” Because just as important as having characters of differing identities other than straight white males in your movies, you need directors which are anything other than straight white males making those movies! If the movie sucks, that’s OK as long as THE MESSAGE is sent out via “diverse” cast and crew. And it was almost certainly SUPPOSED to be terrible. So, mission accomplished!

In case you think I am making this up, here is part of an actual review which I found online:

the fact that the movie is bad beyond words makes it revolutionary. It wakes us up. This movie was making fun of modern society. The terrible jokes, the catrix, the awful acting, the nonsensical storyline was all purposely planned. Lana knew everyone would hate it and talk about how bad it was. and that was the whole point.

REDDIT

Another overwhelmingly positive review says this:

Think of all the elements you associate with The Matrix ‘99:

The perfect green tone of the matrix
The destabilized relationship of space and time visualized with bullet time
The total lack of establishing shots and the claustrophobia of the unnamed city
The feeling of cool frozen in amber 1999
The perfect structured fight sequences designed by Yuen Woo-ping
The entire, perfect tone
These elements (and more) combine to make the very clear look and feel that we all recognize as “The Matrix franchise.”

The Matrix Resurrections doesn’t have any of them.

Within seconds, Resurrections makes it clear this rejection is a deliberate assault.

It’s Lana Wachowski using an anti-aesthetic and intentional ugliness to express the current state of reality and to question how the aesthetic of The Matrix franchise may have turned out to function like the matrix itself.

INVERSE

This reviewer has just said, “Matrix 4 intentionally lacks everything that made a Matrix film a Matrix film, and it’s garbage on purpose.” And then this person makes excuses for Larry’s apparent, admitted FAILURE to make an actual matrix movie that’s worth looking at so that they can praise it. In a sense, this is like someone saying, “The latest Star Wars movie is great BECAUSE it has no lightsabers, Jedi, John Williams music, space ships or aliens! It’s a brave new vision that includes hand puppets and catchy pop songs!” I fell like, if you are that stupid, then you shouldn’t be reviewing movies. I’m not sure you would even be figure out how to hit the play button.

The praise for the Matrix 4 comes from Leftists who are, understandably, terrified of each other. They know darn well that they BETTER praise anything cranked out by a Transgender director, no matter how poorly made, written, or edited. Or TWITTER will CANCEL THEM. Silence is violence, and so to NOT praise Larry for “her” failed attempt to make a Matrix movie would be hate speech. Or racism. I don’t know. Whatever the kids are calling it these days on TikTok.

The Twitter Mob Fears the Twitter Mob

The fact that this insane approval of what is admittedly a dumpster fire comes from the left is apparent because many of these reviews praising Lana (Larry) comes with some angry, profanity laden assault against the conservative right who have taken “Being red pilled” from the first movie to mean, essentially what the first movie used it for- a method of waking you up from the lies of the system to see the truth. When you discover, for example, that women actually make as much or more money than men in many careers when all factors are considered, you have been “Red Pilled.” The feminist lies fade away and you start to see things as they really are. Leftists hate it when conservatives use facts to reject their narrative. It is also hate speech or racism.

It didn’t.

The angry, potty-mouth leftists have also decided that the Matrix movies are a TRANS ALLEGORY, which means that when Neo (A heterosexual white male) wakes up in the real world to discover that he is a heterosexual white male, it ACTUALLY represents a man discovering that he is somehow a woman wearing a stupid looking wig of unnatural colors. Obviously.

Also, Neo has a duck on his head.

I’m going to be honest with you. When I saw the Matrix 4, I was ANGRY. I was confused. I was hurt. It felt like my high school girlfriend took me out on my birthday/our anniversary promising me a special night I would never forget, and then, just as the entrees showed up, told me she was breaking up with me to go join the Illinois Nazis. I thought… you know… maybe she was going to propose. I’ve been waiting so LONG, and then when the trailer came out I thought, “Finally! This is it!” And now she’s shaved her head and moved to Springfield to write articles about why she blames the Jews for global warming…

My wife was asleep for most of this movie, and when she woke up and said, “What did I miss?” I said “Uh… I don’t know.” Because the movie had the feel of a Hollywood art piece drama production which continued to lose funding, evolving midway into a highschool theater production of the first Matrix Movie (complete with quickly cobbled together, home made costumes) until it ended on a cheaply made replica of an apartment set from the show Friends. All of the set up at the beginning of the movie was apparently forgotten about well before the halftime mark, and the majority of the movie, as I have said, seems to have been written and directed by angry tweens who hated the original Matrix movies and everyone who watched them. And Warner Brothers. This movie hates Warner Brothers.

Uh… yeah. Pretty much.

Sabotage or Simple Incompetency?

I am divided between two options. Option one– Warner Brothers said “We are making Matrix 4 with or without you,” a fact that is literally addressed in the film by two characters. Larry said, “Not MY BABY!” and decided to scuttle the Matrix ship so completely that it would remain forever in the cold, crushing depths of the ocean floor, never to rise again no matter how many times James Cameron visited it. Because, I guess Larry would rather see the Matrix franchise crash and burn and lose millions of dollars than see someone else use those characters in a good movie that people would actually want to see. That would be astoundingly selfish, but not impossible.

Option two– The Wachowskis just really suck at making movies. As a big fan of the original Matrix trilogy, I didn’t want to consider this option, but then I accidentally saw part of Jupiter Ascending and discovered that the Matrix films were a tremendously unlikely fluke. Left to their own devices, even with HUGE budgets, the two of them couldn’t make a tolerable film again if it was the only way to stop an asteroid from wiping out all of life on earth.

Frankly, I suspect it’s a combination of the two. Yes, the newly Trans duo had made some amazingly bad movies in the past twenty years, but they also made a point of writing scenes specifically to cast hate on the fans, reviewers, and producers of the original movies. We may never know. Drugs were almost certainly a factor. Someday Larry may wake up and take a look at himself in the mirror and say, “What is this thing doing on my head? And why am I wearing lipstick? And… is there a 4th Matrix movie? When did that happen?”

If you take the RED pill, you can forget you ever watched this movie…

The Point of My Unending Angst

I hated this movie, not merely because it was bad, and not merely because it COULD have been amazing. I hated this movie in addition because it became something that showed the cancerous affect that the atheistic cretins of the woke left are to the culture. A movie comes out that EVERYONE agrees, FAILED to be on the level of a competent sequel, but because it was directed by a man in lipstick, the woke mob tucks it’s tail, AFRAID OF ITSELF, and scrapes the bottom of the barrel to find reasons to praise it, knowing full well that if they were simply honest, they might be canceled by other, unforgiving leftists. As I have shown you, some were frightened into literally praising it for being a BAD Matrix movie.

The woke mob has become a self perpetuating disease, because they are cannibals. They eat each other. They do not have the freedom to tell the truth, to have their own opinion. They have built their own intellectual prison- a prison of their minds.

All I have to offer is the truth. They can vote the blue way and go back to neverland and tell themselves whatever the Twitter mob tells them to think. Or they can take a bit of orange and see how deep the rabbit hole goes. They can leave Plato’s cave and see the real world.

The choice, ultimately, is yours.

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3 Responses to You’ll Like the Matrix if you Know What’s Good For You

  1. jsneese62 says:

    Well you have convinced me I will never ever watch it and for all the reasons you listed and the fact that pink wig is atrocious and that is coming from a 60 year old woman that has had flamingo pink hair that wasn’t a wig. That seriously hurt my eyes and if they want to cancel me on Twitter okay if they can find me and it won’t hurt my feelings or even cause a bump in my day.
    I saw enough dumpster fires in 2020/2021 to last a lifetime so I don’t feel the need to pay to watch one.

    Like

  2. jsneese62 says:

    Indeed you have my friend. 🙂

    Like

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