I’ve been talking with a flat earther- or whatever the term is which denotes a person who believes the earth is flat but does not also indicate a scathing and self important disdain for that person. His name is Scott, and thus far he has been very polite.

So Scott sent me a video which tries to explain that the sun “setting” is an illusion based on perspective. It’s pretty simple- if you’ve ever watched a plane fly overhead, you will notice that as it approaches, it starts out low in your field of vision and then appears to get HIGHER until it is over you, and then appears to get LOWER as it disappears toward the horizon- but it’s staying the same distance from the ground. The sun does the same thing (so the theory goes) and since this is what we observe when a plane at a constant and fairly close distance moves overhead, so it proves that the sun is also moving at a constant distance over us and only APPEARING to get higher and lower.

Well, I thought that would be easy to debunk, so I decided to take some pictures of the sun through a heavy filter to show that the sun doesn’t get SMALLER as it gets lower the way it should if it were close by and moving parallel to a flat surface. I thought, if I could show that the sun doesn’t change size, then this would debunk this theory.

But then I went outside.

After looking outside MANY times today, I realize that there is no direct, observable evidence for the sun’s existence! I mean, I look up and I see blue sky and fluffy clouds but I do NOT see a bright shiny spot which hurts to look at! Suddenly it became clear to me-

…there IS NO SUN!

I mean, the evidence is overwhelming here. Consider the facts:

1. No one CAN look at the sun. We hear that ALL of the time. We’re even warned not to try. But that means NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN THE SUN!
2. When I go outside, I do not see any sun! I only see the sky and clouds! LOTS of stupid clouds, but NO SUN! If there really is this super massive, shiny hot thing in the sky, WHY CAN’T I SEE IT? HUH?
3. I can see everything else out there. I see trees and grass and other houses. We’re told that the sun gives light on the earth, but CLEARLY I can see everything out there JUST FINE with no sun at all! Even in the middle of the day when all of the street lights are off!
4. Not only that, but when I look around my house, I can see everything in HERE too! I think we can all agree that the sun can’t fit into my house, so obviously I have even MORE proof that we don’t need the sun for light. THAT was just a lie!

So in conclusion, we’re told that the sun is needed for light, but I can see everything inside my house and outside with NO SUN. Also, no one has ever SEEN the sun, and when I look for it- NO SUN. So the fact is, there is no evidence for its existence! This whole notion of a sky light is a silly superstition from ancient times when people thought they could cure diseases by having leeches suck the illness out of you and they worshiped farm animals made of inexpensive alloys. So, like the 60’s and 70’s. Maybe even longer ago than that!

There is no sun! CASE CLOSED!

[mic drop]

And in case this wasn’t clear- I’m not sarcastically making fun of Scott for being a believer in the flat earth model, I’m making fun of atheists who claim they can know good and evil in a universe with no God.

Gotta keep my satire clear.