Hello friends. I am your rent a friend, and today I am responding to a good friend of mine named Amanda who is flummoxed by the debate over giving homosexuals the right to marry. I was further encouraged to reply by her friend Jonny who said, “I want you to post publicly so everyone can see what an idiot you are.” And I’m nothing if not a sucker for fan requests. So, here we go. For my good friend Amanda, her friend Jonny, and all the people out there who need a friend, A Gay Monologue about the Gay Marriage Debate!
Chapter one: Every debate in a nutshell
Before we can start with the specifics of this particular debate, we need to look at the foundation of all debates. I know, that sounds like it’s going to be wading through six feet of metaphysics with no socks on, but trust me, it’s easier than it sounds. What we need to do is look BELOW the level of the specifics.
For this particular debate you have two sides one FOR the legalization of gay marriage and one AGAINST. As with any side of any debate, both of these sides think they are standing for what is right and good and true. Either they are not talking about the same thing, in which case they might both be right or they are diametrically opposed, in which case one of them is right and one of them is wrong.
I told you this would be easy.
This debate seems fairly well opposed. Some want gay marriage to be legal, and some do not. That can’t both be right, so how do we figure out which side to take? In order to help us all out, I need to compare the basement level foundation of both sides. Before I do that, let me be clear that I am not here to try and defend EVERYONE who is opposed to gay marriage. I am only trying to make sense of the Biblical, Christian position. Rush Limbaugh, the Republicans, Muslims, Mormons, and those heretic freaks over at GodHatesFags.com are on their own. Especially that last group. I’d like the earth to open up and swallow them. But I digress.
Every worldview (The basement level) has four components which need to be defined and made cohesive. I got this idea from Ravi Zacharias, and I steal it here without his knowledge or consent. Those four components are Origins, Purpose, Morality, and Destiny.
First the Christian worldview:
“In the Beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” This is how the Bible starts, and it’s how our worldview starts. Everything that exists is directly or indirectly the result of God’s choice to create. What this means for our basement level is, everything has a purpose. God is not chaotic, but does things on purpose and with reason. The Bible tells us this in Acts 17:26, “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.” God has a purpose in where and when you are born. You are not an accident. You were designed- or as it says in Psalm 139, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Also to be learned from this passage is that all men are created equal and are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights… But I digress.
Jesus says this in Mark 10:6, “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.” Your gender isn’t an accident either. God made us male and female, and then, pretty much right away, he created the institution of marriage. God made marriage, and sex was part of that institution. After all, HE made us male and female. Some people mistakenly think sex was not God’s design, but the first sin. I don’t know how these people figured the human race would be fruitful and multiply as God commanded. I suppose they could have lived on fruit smoothies and invented algebra, but I don’t think that’s what God meant.
To be clear, sex was part of the original design. God made it, and he has a purpose. His purpose and design is part of the next step- Morality. God, being the creator and architect, has set up some rules so His creation can be used well. We call this the Moral Law. The root of every moral law is doing what is best for us, and avoiding what will hurt us. It’s like the driver’s manual for a car- you can drive in first gear and never change your oil, but when the instructions tell you to do otherwise it’s not because they want to ruin your fun. It’s because they don’t want your engine to burst into flames. The moral law is the same. When God says “Don’t” he generally means “Don’t hurt yourself or anyone else.”
Our destiny is one of two paths that we choose. In one, we say to God, “Your will be done,” and join him in his kingdom forever. In the other, he tells us “Your will be done,” and we are outside of his kingdom forever. Neither of these are as cartoons or heavy metal songs would have us believe. Let me sum it up with a mnemonic device: GOSPEL
G– God made you to have a personal relationship with Him.
O– Our sins separate us from God.
S– Sin cannot be removed with good works.
P– Paying the price for sin, Jesus died and rose again.
E– Everyone who trusts in Him alone has eternal life.
L– Life with Jesus starts now and lasts forever.
In case you missed it, that S makes Christianity unique in all the world’s history. In every other path you tell God, “Step aside- I’ve got this.” The Bible makes it clear- JESUS has it. You either let him take care of it, or your sin will have you forever. You let God adopt you into the family, or you stay his enemy. Your destiny is you holding onto sin and death, or Jesus taking those from you and giving you life eternal. It really is that easy.
So, when the Christians say they are opposed to gay marriage, or polygamy or divorce or infidelity, or anything we call “sin,” we mean, “God made marriage, and THAT (sin) is not his design. His way is better than ours. God made sex and THAT (sin) is not his design. His way leads to more joy than ours. God made men and women, and THAT (sin) is not his design. His way is purposeful and linked specially to His nature- as we are all made in his image.” Or if you like, we mean, “HE is God and WE are not.”
What about the atheist worldview? This will be a little easier to sum up:
Destiny: Oblivion (Both personal and universal)
Maybe I should elaborate a little.
Origin: Accidental. The universe popped into existence uncaused for no reason. Life sprang into being accidentally (And against great odds). The human race is just another bump on the meandering tree of life- not the end nor the goal- just the most recent version of one branch. As a species, we’re only a variation on dirt, worms, fish, rats, or monkeys (Depending on when you join the story).
Purpose: None. No one meant us to be here, we have no prime directive while we live, and no one is waiting for us when we die. We are an accident, and we are alone. We are the ghost in the machine. A smoke which came from accidental random chemistry, and which will soon dissipate and be gone forever with no one to even remember us. Someday the universe itself will die and we will be nothing but a forgotten memory in a graveyard of dead stars, fading forever.
Dang- I am a poet. That gave me chills just then.
Morality: With no purpose and no destiny other than oblivion, there is no objective right and wrong. We exist because of a process where billions of things spent millions of years killing each other. With that kind of history, it’s hard to say that real objective morals exist. The best you can really do is, “We have been conditioned by our genetics to be in favor of some behaviors and opposed to others.” That doesn’t hold a lot of weight when the genetics of our ancestors used to be conditioned to living in holes and eating dirt.
Destiny: We’re a smoky ghost. You know, like from my poetic paragraph above. That was classic.
So when an atheist says “I don’t see why you would condemn homosexuality or gay marriage,” they are being sincere. They don’t have a moral code which forbids homosexuality because on Atheism, Sex is an accident with no purpose, plan, or destiny. How can an accident be right or wrong? This would be like complaining a puddle is the wrong shape.
I don’t mean to say that atheists are without any moral code, but I do mean to say they should be without a moral code. Personal preference they can have. Fashion, they can have. But when the whole universe came from nothing for no reason and will die a cold, slow death, and we spend our fleeting short years under the watchful eye of no one-it’s hard to justify saying “YOU should do what I am genetically conditioned to Feel is right.” I mean, correct me if I am wrong, but the pro side of this debate is essentially angry at me because my genetic predisposition is not the same as theirs. But don’t blame me. Blame the random, blind evolutionary chance that made me.
The question you need to ask is not, “What’s wrong with gay marriage?” but rather, “Is anything wrong with anything?” Because, once you reject God, what standard do you have left? What is the measuring stick by which you judge the world around you? Second hand worm DNA? With all love and respect to my friends, you need more than that if you’re going to condone or condemn.
So, to my good friend Amanda, her friend Jonny, and all of their friends who are flummoxed by this debate, let me sum up:
I am not questioning your goodness or your ability to tell good from evil. I do not doubt that you are all, in your way, kind, generous, and loving people. What I am questioning is your assumption of atheism. If you are right, then I have no basis on which to condemn the homosexual lifestyle, and everything I believe is a lie. But then, if you are right, then you have no basis on which to condemn laws against gay marriage, or anything else for that matter. You have no basis on which to choose to be kind, generous, and loving people beyond your own feelings or social convention. How do you condemn a conservative puddle and condone a liberal puddle when they are both the result of random falling raindrops? Very simply, you cannot. But you know as well as I do that some things are good and some things are evil. You know that some things should be fought for, and some things should be fought against. That’s why you care about any of this in the first place. We’re not entirely different, you and I. I agree with your position more than you, or I dare say even my own camp, readily understand. But I’ll explain all of that in my next post.
In the mean time, let me end with some well needed apologies:
On behalf of those who hate in the name of Jesus, I apologize. Most of them are heretics, and not real Christians at all- and all of them are wrong. Jesus taught us that God loves the whole world- not just the clean, pious ones. So, for all of them, I am sorry.
On behalf of those who are real Christians but have failed to love you and your homosexual friends- I apologize. Jesus told his disciples to love each other and our enemies- so where ever you fall in that spectrum, we should love you. I am sorry that we have failed in this matter. Please forgive us.
I hope you can do yourself the favor of learning to judge Christianity on Jesus and not on Christians, just as you should decide the value of recycling based on the facts and not on the guy who collects your blue bin every week.
As for me, I love you all. That’s why I am your Rent a Friend.