A Christmas Roach Clown (Because Stupid knows no season)

Every now and then you see a news story which you are almost certain was originally from the Onion, or Babylon Bee, or other satirical news sites and somehow accidentally got spread as real news by people who didn’t check the source. It seems like these stories are happening with increasing regularity since the Cubs won the World Series and Trump was elected president of the United States. I mean, both of those are news stories which, if not for a full year of stories leading up to them, would easily have been dismissed in just the way I am describing.

This is a rabbit trail, but follow me here. Imagine you were in a coma since 2015. You had accidentally wandered into the theater showing Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, fully expecting to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Your brain, unable to deal with the blunt force trauma, blacks out and you wake up in time for Christmas 2016.

“What did I miss?” you ask.

And someone replies, “Well, the Cubs won the world series and Donald Trump is President of the United States.”

Would you believe it? This is what I am talking about.

This brings me to one of this year’s festive holiday stories which shows that University Professors are apparently required to consume massive amounts of illegal drugs.

Eric Sprankle, Psy.D, an associate professor at the Minnesota State University, seems to have shared this gem of a holiday greetings via social media:

“The virgin birth story is about an all-knowing, all-powerful deity impregnating a human teen. There is no definition of consent that would include that scenario. Happy Holidays.”

You see what I mean? No literate person who can read in ANY language and has at least two brain cells to rub together could POSSIBLY read the Bible and get the understanding that God FORCED Mary to have a baby against her will. Certainly no person with the required education to be associate professor in anything other than “running head-first into things made of brick” could read the Bible and come to this conclusion, right? Doesn’t this sound like it MUST be a parody fake news story?

But thus far, this doesn’t seem to be a joke. It seems to be a real news story and at the same time another good argument against legalizing drugs. But I digress yet again.

While many things can be said about this AMAZING revelation of religious opining, I shall merely use it to prove yet again that MANY of the debates we have culturally can truly be cleaned up rather quickly by actually opening the Bible and seeing what it says.

In Luke chapter 1, the Angel visits Mary and tells her she is going to be a mother. And after a little Q and A, Mary replies:

 “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.

So, Mary LITERALLY gives her consent. And in case you think she agreed because she was too shy to say no, she busts out her acoustic guitar and writes a song about it which begins,

“My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name.”

Once again, let’s all keep in mind that stupid seems to have no season and thus, at any time of year, when people are running their mouths (or Twitter accounts) about the Bible, Christianity, and all other related topics, it’s often worth it to take a minute to see what the Bible actually says. Taking a brief moment to read for yourself not only dispels 99% of skeptical attacks against the Bible, but it would also have protected you from wandering into Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.

Remember, the life you save could be your own. Merry Christmas.

#JesusLovesYou

You can read/watch all about it here: https://www.newsweek.com/minnesota-eric-sprankle-virgin-mary-impregnated-without-consent-minnesota-1248801

And I hope you all appreciate the fact that I didn’t make fun of this Professor for having the name Eric Sprankle. For once, I have passed a maturity test with flying colors. 

Sprankle… Professor Sprankle. Like something out of Harry Potter, am I right? 

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