And Merry Christmas to you!
Let’s talk about people refusing to say “Merry Christmas.”
I just had a revelation two days ago: People don’t want to say “Merry Christmas” because they don’t want to offend the Atheists or Jews or whoever celebrates holidays invented in California. So they say, “Happy Holidays!” But “Holidays” is American slang for HOLY DAYS. So by saying “Holidays” we’re acknowledging the days recognized by the Church as the anniversary of HOLY events, like the birth of Jesus, the Christ, the Son of God. Without the Christian Church there ARE NO HOLY DAYS.
Or science, hospitals, orphanages, or commonplace literacy, but I digress.
First, Atheists are going to be offended. They’re like a cat with a sunburn. There’s no way to make them happy. I say we stop trying.
Second, I know some of you are going to say “Replacing CHRISTMAS with HOLIDAYS is language intended to include the holy days of Hanukkah and Kwanzaa!”
Here’s why that’s stupid: Kwanzaa isn’t a real holiday and there is nothing HOLY about it. It’s almost a Hallmark Holiday, but it doesn’t even have an annoying animated film for kids telling the Hollywood version of the first Kwanzaa. It’s hyped up nonsense- like a trained pig who can drive a car, but just as insignificant. It only matters if its driving right toward you in your lane. Otherwise, it’s worth about one meme on Pinterest and nothing more.
Also, the Jews only make up 2% of America, so while they are culturally significant to our country, their increasingly disregarded heritage is less important to most people than Cinco De Mayo, especially because it offers no real excuse to get drunk or eat Tacos.
I’m not in favor of getting drunk- I’m just telling you how Americans seem to rank holidays.
These Christmas haters are using a holiday which only has significance for 2% of our population (and in reality less of them every year as they all move to the coast and become atheists) to force everyone in the country to STOP saying Merry Christmas, even though we are- almost ALL of us- going to take off December 25th and gather around the CHRISTMAS tree and exchange CHRISTMAS presents and listen to CHRISTMAS music.
You see where I’m going with this? No one you know is putting up a Kwanzaa tree or listening to Hanukkah carols. They are going to CHRISTMAS parties and taking their kids to see the mall Santa, where Santa will ask, “What do you want for CHRISTMAS little boy or girl?”
So when someone pretends they are offended on behalf of the Jewish friends they don’t really have because you acknowledge the same Holy Day the ENTIRE COUNTRY has acknowledged for 200 years, you just tell them Merry Christmas just the same. And if they’re an Atheist, tell them they should protest by going to work on Christmas and refusing to touch the Christmas cookies. We’ll see how strong their resolve is when it’s in the shape of a Christmas tree, frosted, and covered in sprinkles.
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